Communicating EffectivelyCreating connection
8 Relationship-Strengthening Habits
8 Relationship-Strengthening Habits
5 minutes
These habits translate the research into simple, intentional behaviours you can use in your personal and professional relationships. Practised consistently, they deepen trust, connection and understanding.
1
Show you like them
People naturally warm to those who show warmth toward them. Small signals of fondness or appreciation help others feel comfortable and valued.
How to practise it:
• Greet them with a genuine smile.
• Hold comfortable eye contact that signals interest, not scrutiny.
• Use a friendly, open tone when speaking.
• Share something you appreciate about them. This can be a quality, strength or behaviour.
• Give authentic compliments that reflect who they are, not just what they do.
Why it works:
Positive regard reduces social distance and activates a sense of safety which is essential for connection.
How to practise it:
• Greet them with a genuine smile.
• Hold comfortable eye contact that signals interest, not scrutiny.
• Use a friendly, open tone when speaking.
• Share something you appreciate about them. This can be a quality, strength or behaviour.
• Give authentic compliments that reflect who they are, not just what they do.
Why it works:
Positive regard reduces social distance and activates a sense of safety which is essential for connection.
2
Find common ground
Common ground creates a bridge, or a sense of “we” instead of “you and me.” Even when perspectives differ, shared interests or values help people connect more easily.
How to practise it:
• Pay attention to shared preferences (food, books, music, hobbies, places lived).
• Notice shared goals or concerns at work, even if your approaches differ.
• Call out alignment: “We both care about getting this right — even if we see it differently.”
Why it works:
Psychologically, similarity increases rapport, ease and cooperation.
How to practise it:
• Pay attention to shared preferences (food, books, music, hobbies, places lived).
• Notice shared goals or concerns at work, even if your approaches differ.
• Call out alignment: “We both care about getting this right — even if we see it differently.”
Why it works:
Psychologically, similarity increases rapport, ease and cooperation.
3
Share about yourself and invite others in
Thoughtful self-disclosure shows openness and builds trust. When you share appropriately, you give the other person permission to do the same.
How to practise it:
• Offer small pieces of what you’re thinking or experiencing.
• Share personal stories that feel natural and relevant.
• Invite their perspective: “What’s been on your mind?” or “How was that for you?”
Why it works:
Mutual openness signals safety and helps relationships shift from surface-level to meaningful.
How to practise it:
• Offer small pieces of what you’re thinking or experiencing.
• Share personal stories that feel natural and relevant.
• Invite their perspective: “What’s been on your mind?” or “How was that for you?”
Why it works:
Mutual openness signals safety and helps relationships shift from surface-level to meaningful.
4
Be an active listener
Active listening helps people feel understood. This is one of the strongest drivers of connection.
How to practise it:
• Maintain easy, natural eye contact.
• Use nods or small verbal cues to show presence.
• Ask curious follow-up questions.
• Paraphrase occasionally to check your understanding.
• Stay focused: No multitasking, interrupting or rushing responses.
Why it works:
People feel closer to those who genuinely listen, not those who simply wait for their turn to speak.
How to practise it:
• Maintain easy, natural eye contact.
• Use nods or small verbal cues to show presence.
• Ask curious follow-up questions.
• Paraphrase occasionally to check your understanding.
• Stay focused: No multitasking, interrupting or rushing responses.
Why it works:
People feel closer to those who genuinely listen, not those who simply wait for their turn to speak.
5
Create shared experiences
Doing things together builds connection faster than conversation alone. Shared experiences create memories, rhythms and moments of familiarity.
How to practise it:
• Suggest a walk, coffee, or shared lunch.
• Work together on a project or idea.
• Attend an event, workshop or team activity together.
• Even co-working quietly can create a sense of togetherness.
Why it works
Shared activities build connection through joint attention, collaboration and positive emotional experiences.
How to practise it:
• Suggest a walk, coffee, or shared lunch.
• Work together on a project or idea.
• Attend an event, workshop or team activity together.
• Even co-working quietly can create a sense of togetherness.
Why it works
Shared activities build connection through joint attention, collaboration and positive emotional experiences.
6
Offer help or allow others to help you
Mutual support builds trust and strengthens relational bonds. Interdependence signals: “You matter, and we’re in this together.”
How to practise it:
• Offer small, meaningful help: “I’ve done that before. Want the template?”
• Ask for help when appropriate: “Could I get your view on something I’m stuck on?”
• Say thank you genuinely! Appreciation reinforces trust.
• Work together on tasks where you rely on each other.
Why it works:
Interdependence accelerates trust. As Brian Brown explains, shared tasks that require cooperation help you recognise the other person’s significance, which is a core element of meaningful relationships.
How to practise it:
• Offer small, meaningful help: “I’ve done that before. Want the template?”
• Ask for help when appropriate: “Could I get your view on something I’m stuck on?”
• Say thank you genuinely! Appreciation reinforces trust.
• Work together on tasks where you rely on each other.
Why it works:
Interdependence accelerates trust. As Brian Brown explains, shared tasks that require cooperation help you recognise the other person’s significance, which is a core element of meaningful relationships.
7
Be consistent
Relationships grow through reliability. It’s not the size of the gesture, but the steadiness.
How to practise it:
• Follow through on promises.
• Check in regularly, even briefly.
• Maintain your tone and behaviour over time (not warm one day, cold the next).
• Show up when you say you will.
Why it works:
Consistency creates predictability, which builds psychological safety and trust.
How to practise it:
• Follow through on promises.
• Check in regularly, even briefly.
• Maintain your tone and behaviour over time (not warm one day, cold the next).
• Show up when you say you will.
Why it works:
Consistency creates predictability, which builds psychological safety and trust.
8
Respect boundaries and pace
Closeness should grow steadily, not be rushed. Respecting boundaries protects the relationship and signals emotional maturity.
How to practise it:
• Share gradually. Try not to tell everything all at once.
• Notice when they need space and honour it.
• Avoid pushing for deeper conversation before trust is established.
Why it works:
Healthy boundaries prevent overwhelm, build safety, and encourage authentic closeness rather than forced connection.
How to practise it:
• Share gradually. Try not to tell everything all at once.
• Notice when they need space and honour it.
• Avoid pushing for deeper conversation before trust is established.
Why it works:
Healthy boundaries prevent overwhelm, build safety, and encourage authentic closeness rather than forced connection.
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