Looking after your wellbeingManaging stressUsing mindfulness for peak performance
A three-step framework to build resilience
A three-step framework to build resilience
5 minutes
Resilience can be done through Awareness, Acceptance, and Action — a sequence you can follow to redirect whenever you feel pulled into stress, worry, or negative thinking, whether at work, in relationships, or during major life changes.
Let’s use an example – you have just learned about a new reorganisation effort at work. You are unsure the future of your role, who your manager might be, or the new team you might be asked to join.
1
Awareness — Notice What’s Happening
Start by observing your reaction without judging it or trying to fix it straight away.
Notice your thoughts
• “Bad things always happen to me. Another thing added to the list.”
• “I know exactly how this goes. I’ll be laid off.”
• “I don’t have any options. I won’t survive this.”
Notice your physical reactions
• A racing heart
• A tight chest
• Sweaty palms
Awareness means paying attention to both what you’re thinking and what you’re feeling in your body, before taking any action.
Notice your thoughts
• “Bad things always happen to me. Another thing added to the list.”
• “I know exactly how this goes. I’ll be laid off.”
• “I don’t have any options. I won’t survive this.”
Notice your physical reactions
• A racing heart
• A tight chest
• Sweaty palms
Awareness means paying attention to both what you’re thinking and what you’re feeling in your body, before taking any action.
2
Acceptance — Allow the Experience Without Judgment
Acceptance isn’t liking or resigning to discomfort. Instead, it means acknowledging thoughts and emotions without judging or fighting them.
You allow and accept these thoughts as a way for your brain to attempt to make sense of uncertainty. Acknowledge that it is ok to feel what you feel; you are allowed and permitted to process things in any way that feels to you. It could look like internally saying, “It’s okay that I’m feeling this — fear, worry, confusion — this is a human response to uncertainty.” It also means validating the normal and natural physical reactions to stress.
This non-judgmental stance reduces reactivity and creates psychological space to choose your next step intentionally. Acknowledging feelings without fighting them reduces their psychological grip and opens space for intentional choice.
You allow and accept these thoughts as a way for your brain to attempt to make sense of uncertainty. Acknowledge that it is ok to feel what you feel; you are allowed and permitted to process things in any way that feels to you. It could look like internally saying, “It’s okay that I’m feeling this — fear, worry, confusion — this is a human response to uncertainty.” It also means validating the normal and natural physical reactions to stress.
This non-judgmental stance reduces reactivity and creates psychological space to choose your next step intentionally. Acknowledging feelings without fighting them reduces their psychological grip and opens space for intentional choice.
3
Action — Redirect with Curiosity and Values
How true are my thoughts?
Reframe with evidence from your own life:
• Bad things don’t always happen to me. I can list 3 examples of ways that things have worked out for me in the past.
• I don’t know the future. Maybe I might be laid off or maybe this might open another opportunity I hadn’t considered.
• I have survived hardships in the past where I did not know what the future held, and I made it through.
Next, identify what you can control:
• I can take a break when I need it – go for a walk, call a friend, make a healthy meal that comforts me.
• I can lean on others – share what I am going through and ask for any guidance, support or just space to process.
• I can’t control what decisions are being made by leadership.
Then anchor your actions in values: ways in which you want to show up and be the version of yourself that would most serve you and your life at this time. Examples:
• Calm: I can show calm for myself by taking a deep breath when I start to notice my physical stress cues.
• Compassion: I can show compassion to myself by telling myself it’s ok to feel how I feel without needing immediate solutions.
• Courage: I can show courage by acting “as if”: If I trusted that this reorganiszation effort was working out for me, what would I do? Who would I talk to? How would I talk about my work?
Reframe with evidence from your own life:
• Bad things don’t always happen to me. I can list 3 examples of ways that things have worked out for me in the past.
• I don’t know the future. Maybe I might be laid off or maybe this might open another opportunity I hadn’t considered.
• I have survived hardships in the past where I did not know what the future held, and I made it through.
Next, identify what you can control:
• I can take a break when I need it – go for a walk, call a friend, make a healthy meal that comforts me.
• I can lean on others – share what I am going through and ask for any guidance, support or just space to process.
• I can’t control what decisions are being made by leadership.
Then anchor your actions in values: ways in which you want to show up and be the version of yourself that would most serve you and your life at this time. Examples:
• Calm: I can show calm for myself by taking a deep breath when I start to notice my physical stress cues.
• Compassion: I can show compassion to myself by telling myself it’s ok to feel how I feel without needing immediate solutions.
• Courage: I can show courage by acting “as if”: If I trusted that this reorganiszation effort was working out for me, what would I do? Who would I talk to? How would I talk about my work?
These steps help you shift from reactive to responsive mode — grounding you in the present moment, empowering clearer decisions, and building a mental pattern that strengthens resilience over time.
by
Natasha Marston-Sy
Coach at Hellomonday | Coached over 1000 leaders