Creating connectionLooking after your wellbeing

Dealing with loneliness

Key Takeaways:

Loneliness is a biological function signal just like hunger. When you feel hungry, your body is telling you to refuel. Loneliness works the same way with your social needs, as we are biologically programmed to want connection and belongingness. This is because for our ancestors, gathering resources, being alert to their surroundings and staying warm were impossible alone. Staying in a group and being accepted by your peers increased chances of survival, and that wiring sticks up until today.

‘Social pain’ is how your brain stops you from doing behaviours that would isolate you from the group. It interprets rejection as painful, prompting you to change and regain acceptance.

While this once helped us survive, the world we live in now doesn’t require us to belong in groups for survival. Everything we need is accessible. In turn, loneliness now can become an even more personal, intensified experience.

Although the modern world lets us become more independent, chronic loneliness can still exist – even when you’re more connected than ever. Daily responsibilities such as work, caregiving, hobbies, and rest leave limited time and energy for meaningful social interaction. As a result, connection is often deprioritised, not because it is unimportant, but because it feels less urgent than other demands.

Multiple studies tell us that chronic loneliness is one of the unhealthiest things you can experience. It has been associated with mortality rates comparable to smoking a pack of cigarettes a day and higher than obesity. And when it becomes chronic, it becomes self-sustaining by making you constantly feel like you’re in danger of being excluded, even in normal interactions.

Loneliness often develops gradually, but its impact can be severe. Over time, it can contribute to depression and create a mental state that makes connection feel difficult or unsafe, even when the desire for connection remains strong.

Loneliness is a slow process, but it can lead to depression and a mental state that prevents connecting with others even if you want to.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting connection – it’s part of being human. Feeling lonely is something we all experience at times. If it’s coming up for you, here are five simple, practical ways to ease it and feel more connected again.

Sources

Video Source: Kurzgesagt. (2019, February 18). Loneliness. YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3Xv_g3g-mA

Kurzgesagt – In a Nutshell