Being self-awareManaging stress
The 4 shifts of emotional agility
The 4 shifts of emotional agility
5 minutes
Emotional Agility isn’t built through big, dramatic breakthroughs. It’s built through small, deliberate shifts in how we respond to everyday emotions. These four micro-skills turn emotional moments into opportunities for clarity, composure and intentional action. Practise them regularly, and they quickly become new default behaviours.
1
SHIFT 1: Recognise and label the emotion
What to do: Pause and name what you’re actually feeling.
Why it works: Accurate labelling moves you from emotional activation to cognitive clarity.
Examples: Instead of “I’m stressed,” try:
• “I’m overwhelmed because this deadline matters.”
• “I’m anxious because I want this to go well.”
RIGID: “This is too much.”
AGILE: “This feels intense, and naming it helps me manage it.”
Why it works: Accurate labelling moves you from emotional activation to cognitive clarity.
Examples: Instead of “I’m stressed,” try:
• “I’m overwhelmed because this deadline matters.”
• “I’m anxious because I want this to go well.”
RIGID: “This is too much.”
AGILE: “This feels intense, and naming it helps me manage it.”
2
SHIFT 2 : Swap judgement for curiosity
What to do: Replace “What’s wrong with me?” with “What is this emotion trying to tell me?”
Why it works: Curiosity interrupts self-criticism and opens space for problem-solving.
Reflection prompts:
• What triggered this?
• What value might be underneath this emotion?
• What need is not being met?
RIGID: “I shouldn’t feel this.”
AGILE: “This feeling is here, what is it signalling?”
Why it works: Curiosity interrupts self-criticism and opens space for problem-solving.
Reflection prompts:
• What triggered this?
• What value might be underneath this emotion?
• What need is not being met?
RIGID: “I shouldn’t feel this.”
AGILE: “This feeling is here, what is it signalling?”
3
SHIFT 3: Create a micro-pause before responding
What to do: Breathe. Slow your exhale. Create space before you react.
Why it works: A single pause interrupts autopilot behaviours and allows the brain to re-engage its executive function.
Micro-pause techniques:
• One slow breath
• Count to three
• Drop your shoulders
• Put your feet flat on the floor
RIGID: Reacting instantly.
AGILE: Choosing your next move.
Why it works: A single pause interrupts autopilot behaviours and allows the brain to re-engage its executive function.
Micro-pause techniques:
• One slow breath
• Count to three
• Drop your shoulders
• Put your feet flat on the floor
RIGID: Reacting instantly.
AGILE: Choosing your next move.
4
SHIFT 4: Choose the value-driven next step
What to do:
Ask: “What would the best version of me do next?
Not: “What does this emotion want me to do?”
Why it works: Values act as a compass. They steady you when emotions are loud.
Examples:
Value = Courage: “I’ll speak up, even if I’m nervous.”
Value = Respect: “I’ll listen fully before responding.”
Value = Growth: “I’ll try again, and iterate.”
RIGID: Emotion dictates behaviour.
AGILE: Values dictate behaviour.
Ask: “What would the best version of me do next?
Not: “What does this emotion want me to do?”
Why it works: Values act as a compass. They steady you when emotions are loud.
Examples:
Value = Courage: “I’ll speak up, even if I’m nervous.”
Value = Respect: “I’ll listen fully before responding.”
Value = Growth: “I’ll try again, and iterate.”
RIGID: Emotion dictates behaviour.
AGILE: Values dictate behaviour.
Action recommendation
Try this 3-minute daily Emotional Agility practice:
- Name the strongest emotion you felt today.
- Ask what triggered it and what it’s signalling
- Decide the value you want to lead with tomorrow
Do it consistently for one week and you’ll feel the shift immediately.
by
Hellomonday