Self regulating

Why emotional agility is a skill we can’t ignore

Why emotional agility is a skill we can’t ignore

5 minutes

In today’s world, we’re not just managing deadlines – we’re managing uncertainty, expectations, people, identity shifts, emotional load, burnout, and the constant pressure to hold everything together.

 

Coined by Dr Susan David, Emotional Agility is the ability to notice, name, and navigate your emotions with clarity and intention, rather than reacting to or avoiding what you feel. It is the opposite of Emotional Rigidity, where emotions take over your thinking, behaviour and decision-making.

 

Emotionally Agile people:

  • Acknowledge emotions without judgement
  • Create space between feeling and action
  • Choose responses that align with their values
  • Stay steady under pressure and uncertainty

Emotionally Rigid people:

  • Avoid difficult emotions (“I’m fine.”)
  • Get stuck in them (“I can’t believe this happened.”)
  • Let emotions define their identity or self-worth
  • Retreat after setbacks or fall into shame spirals

Emotional Agility is not about being positive – it’s about being honest, and then intentional. Because in a world that isn’t slowing down, the people who thrive aren’t the ones without emotions…they’re the ones who know how to navigate them wisely.

 

The good news is that is a skill you can development and enhance.

Why it matters to stop

Building your strength in Emotional Agility matters because the world we’re working in is fast, demanding and unpredictable. We’re expected to make good decisions while juggling pressure, change, and the emotional load that comes with being a person who cares.

 

In those moments, Emotional Agility becomes more than a “nice leadership skill.” It becomes the thing that determines whether we think clearly or spiral, stay grounded or get swept away, lean into challenges or retreat from them.

 

People with strong Emotional Agility can:

 

  • Think clearly when emotions are running high
  • Adapt quickly when plans shift (without losing themselves)
  • Regulate reactions in high-stakes moments
  • Stay connected and constructive during conflict
  • Make decisions that align with their values, not their fears

Without Emotional Agility, most of us fall into one of two human but unhelpful patterns:

 

  • Avoidance – pushing emotions down to keep going
    It works for a moment. But over time it fuels stress, burnout, reactivity and a sense of disconnection from yourselves and others.
  • Getting tangled in emotions until they take over
    Thoughts become facts. Feelings become identity. Confidence shrinks.
    We stop making choices and start reacting.

Emotional Agility offers the middle path to unhelpful behaviour patterns to the healthy one: Feel the emotion. Understand what it’s telling you. Then choose your response.

 

This is what allows leaders and teams to stay composed, connected and effective in moments that normally trigger reactivity. This is why Emotional Agility isn’t a “soft skill” anymore – it’s a core capability for working, leading and living well.

Here's the proof

Research from Susan David, ACT (Acceptance & Commitment Therapy) and emotional regulation science shows:

 

This flexibility is what turns emotion into information, not limitation.

 

If you want clearer thinking and steadier responses under pressure, the 4 shifts of Emotional Agility offer practical ways to get there. Continue below to explore them.

by
Hellomonday